I'm Sorry, Toshiro
by FOREVERADISNEYGIRL
Summary: Life was hard for me as a child, but I endured all the bullying and prejudice against me. It wasn't so bad because, I had a family who loved me for who I am. Regardless, of that the prejudice against me took a far turn for worst. A Toshiro Hitsugaya origin story. Rated T for tragedy and slight violence.


**DISCLAIMER:** **I don't own Bleach. Bleach is the property of Tite Kubo, and are not my intellectual property. There is no financial gain made from this nor will any be sought. This is for entertainment purposes only.**

I was always a strange child. Even when I was alive on Earth, nobody would play with me cause of how I looked. White hair, turquoise eyes, and a chilly aura wherever I walked. It just wasn't children who avoided me, the adults in my village would too. While the grownups would act warm and kind to others, all I received were cold and gruff glances. I didn't understand at the time, but I apparently had a special ability. Every night, I would see in the shadows of my dreams, the shape of a dragon. All around me, I felt icy, cold wind nipping at my entire being. Yet, I never felt cold. For years, I've had this same dream over and over again. But I could never make any sense of it. Often times, I do not dwell upon my dreams and I just go about with my daily life.

Unfortunately, an accident caused my early death and I was hardly a boy of ten. My parents who I dearly loved, sent me out to fetch water from the river. This was something I did every day and nothing at the time, seemed out of the ordinary. I was going to pay with my naivety. After saying goodbye to mother and father, I picked up the large bamboo bucket we used for water. Thus, I began my somewhat long trek to the river. Usually at this hour, the path that led to the river was empty. However, I failed to notice the group of children from my village following me.

Once I found my usual spot on the riverside, I tied some rope on the bucket handle and with a gentle toss and splash, in it went. When I saw the water had filled up all the way, I started pulling the bucket out of river. Suddenly, I heard a loud rustle from the trees and before I could even register it, I was pinned to the ground by two strong arms. "Gotcha at last!" a voice to my right sneered. Though I was in a daze, I instantly recognized the voice. It belonged to the village bully, Ijime. Out of everybody in our village, he would torment me the most. As if having the entire village being prejudiced against you wasn't bad enough, Ijime made it a million times worse.

"Let me go!", I cried out. It was a fruitless struggle, but I tried to escape from the two boys' grasp. Yet, no matter how much I thrashed, bit, or shouted their grip did not loosen. "Ijime, why are you and the other children doing this?", I gasped. With a mean look from him, he replied, "Cause you're weird! That's why!"

"You're not like any of us. With your white hair and creepy eyes, nobody likes you or your family!" After each and every word, his grip on my arm became tighter and tighter. I winced from the pain and nearly blacked out. Despite of this, I was determined to peacefully talk Ijime out of whatever he and his goons were going to do to me. "Whatever I have done to you and everyone here, I am truly sorry. Please... just let me go..." I pleaded with tears in my eyes.

"Never! We're all going to do the village a favor. That is to get rid of you once and for all!" Immediately after he made this declaration, all the boys and girls made a very sick cheer. Both boys lifted me up into the air and shoved me into the river. If it weren't for their hold on me, I could've swam away. That will never be possible because, at once, I no longer felt anything. Not even pain.

After what felt like an eternity, I finally woke up. At first, I was happy that Ijime's and the other children's torment had finally ended. However, I immediately sensed something wasn't right. In this room, I saw candles, papers with prayers written on them, offerings of food, and a name on the alter. "This... this is somebody's funeral." I stuttered in disbelief. "But who was it that passed away recently?" thinking aloud. If I could remember, the only person in my village to have passed away was great-grandmother. It was from old age and natural causes otherwise, besides that she was healthy. In fact, most people in my village lived long and healthy lives.

Wanting to ease my questions and curiosity, I slowly crept up to the alter. A metallic rustling sound stopped me in my tracks. I searched for the sound source and saw a thick chain. It coiled around the room and somehow was on my chest. "Wh-wh-wh... what is on my chest? Wh-why is there a chain around here?", I panicked. As I was about to lose it, the door opened and I felt a small breeze. Indicating that someone was coming in. She had her back turned away from me, but I could recognize her anywhere. "Mother..."

Mother kneeled in front of the alter and on her face, large tear drops cascaded from her cheeks. Between sobs, I could hear her gasping to breathe. Using one of her sleeves, mother wiped away some of the tears. After adjusting her sleeves, she looked at the alter once more.

"I should've gone with you. I should've never let you go alone. If... if only I had listened to my instincts beforehand, you'd still be here. Safe and alive... Alas, I made the choice of ignoring my uneasy feelings and look at what it caused us. You are gone now because of me... I'm-I'm sorry Toshiro!"

"I'm sorry Toshiro!" Mother's apology kept on echoing in my ears and I stood there. Right behind her unable to take a step forward to her direction. Yet, as I stood cemented in place, mother kept on sobbing and sobbing. I felt time had completely stood still and slowly, the harsh truth finally dawned on me. This was my funeral. Mother is kneeling in front of my alter. I am the one who has passed away in this village.

Mother's sobbing continued for what seemed like an eternity. I continued standing where I was for a very long time and trying to make sense as to what happened at the river. Though I knew she could not see me, I slowly walked towards mother and the chains from my chest clinked with each step I made. When I finally stood in front of her, my hands reached out to her face to dry her tears. The attempt is practically futile, but I wanted to somehow comfort mother. Suddenly, mother looked up and her eyes darted around the room. She felt something cool touch her face and finally, mother's eyes stared directly into mine. I could see fear beginning to creep onto her face, but immediately that disappeared.

Her mouth opened as if she wanted to say something, but then it closed. Mother tried once more and this time, she managed to say, "Toshiro. Are you here, my son?"

Both mother and I knew, she would not be able to hear or see me, but at least her feeling my presence gave me some comfort. Mother continued to speak, but her voice grew shaky.

"Toshiro. I cannot see you, but I know you're here. If you can hear me, please know I-I'm... your father, your grandparents, and I are sorry. Sorry that we could not protect you from those children, the bullying, or all the prejudice you faced."

As she uttered each word, I could see mother grow smaller and smaller before me. Tears started to fall from my eyes and to think, spirits could actually cry. My family should not have to ever apologize to me at all. Even though I was born as a strange child, my parents and grandparents did not care. They showed me nothing, but unconditional love and taught me to never hate anyone. People could do the most malicious things to a person, but hating them back wouldn't make things better. That's why I decided right then and there, I would forgive all the adults and children. My beloved family should not have to bear the burden of guilt.

With gentle hands, I embraced mother and buried my face into her neck as began to stain her sleeves. "Mother, I forgive you. I forgive you, father, grandma, and grandpa. It's not your fault. It never was..." I told her weakly.

Right after I forgave them, a part of mother's face softened with relief. It's almost as if she really did hear me. Slowly, mother returned the embrace and just held on to me. At last, after what seemed like ages, mother finally spoke once more.

"Toshiro. You forgive us don't you? I... No. We thank you, my son. Rest well, my darling boy. I love you. Forever and always."

 _ **FIN.**_

 **Author's Note: Initially, this fan fiction was going to be a story where Hisana and Toshiro met for the first time in the Rukon District. The story would've taken place during Hisana's life and as she was looking for Rukia, she runs into Toshiro Hitsugaya. Basically, what happened is Hisana heading back to the Court of Pure Souls after spending a day trying to find Rukia. She notices that Toshiro is crying and decides to comfort him. Long story short, the kids in his village refuse to play with him because of how he looks and the chilly aura that follows him. After telling Hisana what happened, she tells him, "I'll be your friend. I would love to play with you." Years later, Toshiro does find Rukia still in Hanging Dog and manages to reunited the sisters. That's basically the summary of what I originally had planned. Then like with anything, it evolved into this and I did have more planned for this story. Unfortunately, I didn't know how to continue it so I thought it would be best to end the story here. All of this drew inspiration from Momokunn's drawing of Hisana and Toshiro on DeviantArt. It's one of favorite artworks in Bleach.**

 **Anyways, before I continue to endlessly ramble, feel free to leave any reviews for this story. I welcome all and any constructive criticism, but please don't be super harsh. Thank you for reading everybody!**

 **~FOREVERADISNEYGIRL**


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